What Lies Beneath... Emeline Nsingi Nkosi

For Emeline Nsingi Nkosi, beauty has not always felt like something reflected back to her.

Growing up in predominantly white communities, she rarely saw her features held up as the standard. Her relationship with beauty, hair and identity was shaped by the tension of being French and Congolese, of being read as ambiguous, knowing where she came from even when others could not always see it.

In this edition of What Lies Beneath, Emeline reflects on the first time she felt validated in her body, the journey from relaxed hair to embracing her natural texture, and the power of consistency inherited from her French heritage.

Across cities, cultures and industries, her idea of elegance has shifted from what a woman wears to how she carries herself. And beneath the work, image and expectation, she returns to something beautifully simple: her inner child, wanting to be happy.

Here's What Lies Beneath, Emeline.

TSB - What is your earliest memory of feeling beautiful  and who, or what, made you feel that way?

Emeline - I remember growing up never really feeling beautiful especially growing up in predominantly white communities where my features weren’t the beauty standards. There was a moment in my early teens when I went shopping with some friends and tried on a deep v-neck crop top and low rise flared trousers. I looked at myself in the mirror in awe as the outfit clung to my body in all the right places. I felt I stepped out of the changing rooms and my friends gasped, I had never felt more validated. 

TSB - What part of your heritage do you feel you carry most visibly?

Emeline - I feel I carry my Congolese heritage most visibly in my hair. I grew up wishing that I had curly hair, the texture that you would see in the magazines on mixed-race girls. My hair was relaxed from a young age, this made me feel like my hair was too coarse and I was ashamed and embarrassed of its texture from very early on in my life. However in my early 20’s, I started embracing my natural texture and the different options that it gave me. Today, I carry my hair texture proudly and I love that it undoubtedly shows where I come from. 

TSB - What is a beauty ritual you inherited, rejected, or rediscovered over time?

Emeline - From my French heritage, I have inherited the ritual of consistency. Whether it’s skincare, body care or hair care, consistency is key. It’s so boring but it works. 

TSB - Where do you feel most yourself and where do you feel most seen?

Emeline - I feel most myself around my friends, amongst those that have become my chosen family, who decide to show up for me not because they have to but because they want to and I feel most seen by them, where there’s no need to put up a front.

I have noticed that I also feel most seen and looked at, out in public places when my hair is out in all its glory.

TSB - What is one thing about your identity that people often misunderstand at first glance?

Emeline - People often misunderstand where I’m from based on looking ambiguously mixed-race. Apart from if my hair is out, it’s often not easy to pinpoint where I’m from and I remember when I lived in Ghana, people would often assume that I didn’t have any African heritage.

TSB - What does your hair say about you before you’ve even spoken?

Emeline - I imagine it would say that I accept myself in my natural state, I’m pretty low key in terms of making an effort which I take from my French heritage, there’s a feeling of being comfortable with how I look without trying. At the same time I take care of myself because I’m religiously with making sure my hair is washed, conditioned and moisturised. 

TSB - What is your idea of elegance? Has that changed as you’ve moved through different cities, industries and versions of yourself?

Emeline - My idea of elegance is all about the way someone carries themselves. In the past I may have attached it to the clothing worn but I feel having lived in various countries, from France, the UK, to Ghana and Senegal, that is no longer the case. I’ve met many elegant women and it had nothing to do with the exterior. It’s an energy that is carried within and the older I get, the more confident and at ease I feel with myself, the more elegant I feel.

TSB - What is a quality in yourself that took you the longest to embrace?

Emeline - Authenticity. Not people pleasing, resting and doing self-care when I need it, being direct and not trying to tip toe around situations and people.

TSB - When everything else is stripped back work, image, performance, expectation, what lies beneath for you?

Emeline - My inner child just wanting to be happy.